Random thoughts during exam week…

Do you remember high school and how stressed everyone got around exam time? Yeah, that’s this week for me. Yay. You can see I’m really excited about this. Ha. So fun. Not. The only good thing about this week is that we have half days, two exam periods per day for the rest of the week. This also means that my mom thinks it’s a good idea to schedule doctors appointments because after only being at school for a couple hours I should be feeling up to it right? Nope. I only have finals two times a year, but it’s just so stressful because I feel like teachers expect me to be able to cram and get done everything that other students can do. I respectfully disagree. These couple weeks have been the most stressful of my life. I took the ACT for the first time, and my 17th birthday came and passed (yay!) I have five exams

Something that has been on my mind a lot has been something that happened at work yesterday. I work at my old elementary school after school taking care of kids in their after-school program. Even though I never feel up to it, I’m still glad I have it. I worked this past summer and it was really good for me. This job is perfect for me because I work two days a week, one day for one and half hours and the other day for two and a half hours. That’s it. I love it because it is so low key, my boss is so understanding, and the people I work with are girls that I go to school with. With that being said, yesterday one of my good friends was working with me and asked if I could work the late shift (2.5 hours) instead of the early shift (1.5 hours) which is what I was suppose to do. She had a migraine, so of course I said yes even though I didn’t feel any better than she did. Now I want everyones opinion on this, but from my perspective, I can cope, whereas people who don’t have chronic migraines have a harder time when they get one. I could tell she felt bad about asking me considering my POTS, but I assured her that I would be fine. I feel like people are afraid to ask me that because they know about my illness, but I really was happy to take her shift. My mom gets headaches occasionally, and they knock her down because she’s not used to them. Before I was diagnosed with POTS I got the occasional headache, so I know how uncomfortable it is if you don’t experience that pain every day. I could tell she was in a lot of pain, so was I, but I’ve been living and working and going to school for over a year with my chronic headache. I have coping methods to deal with them along with medication. Yes, I feel awful, but I’m going to be ok. I realize that I take on too much, but I’m young, I don’t want to be normal, but I don’t want to sit in bed all day too tired to move. I like living life to it’s fullest. That’s why my diagnosis was so devastating, because I can’t do half of the things I used to be able to. My now ex-boyfriend told me something last year and it’s not profound, but it means something to me. He said “You can do this, don’t ever give up.” That’s what I’ll end this post with because I have to get back to studying for my biology exam. Fun.